Hi everybody Options

[tuffgirl]

Hello my fellow english speakers. My name is Corina and just recently i stumbled upon this site. I am a girl obviously and i live in New York. I have read some of things you guys have post it on the site and decided that i am in a group of ggod people (IMG:/biggrin.gif)

[Airman04061969]

Thank you for complimenting us, Corina. However, I can not help noticing that some of us, Airman in particular, are rather evil than good ! :wink: (IMG:/laugh.gif)

[tuffgirl]

Well, it all depends on the situation. I think everybody needs to be a little evil from time to time, if needed. I don't really think you are evil. Besides life will be to tame (and boring) if not for a little evil now and then. :wink:

[Aneisse]

Now I'm the one I have to excuse my spelling and unlike you I'm suppose to be good at writing in English. Tell us about N.Y. please! Is it a nice town to live in?

[tuffgirl]

Let's just say that is an interesting place to live in. It is very crowded everything is very convenient and close by. The city itself is beautiful, surrounded by water, there are beautiful old buildings (and new ones), lots of beautiful churches of all kinds (religions), bridges to get out of town and now that i think about it fells like a huge castle surrounded by a moat, and other than that sometimes scary. After living here for so long i get used to it but other times i am a little overwhelmed by it all. As far as spelling in english you can always use the spellcheck, i am supposed to know how to spell and i still have to do that . English is not a easy language to spell. (IMG:/biggrin.gif)

[Aneisse]

Really?!? Wait to see French!

[Airman04061969]

Especially if you live in "good old USA".
Examples:
"Thru" = through
"Color" = colour
"Airplane" = aeroplane.
and, my personal favourite, "ain't" that stands for "isn't", "aren't", "won't", "shan't", a.s.o.

[tuffgirl]

Hi Bogdane you are pretty good at this. Let's not forget the wrong use of language (grammatically). " Don't know nothing" =Don't know anything
Then it also depends whom you hang out with and the way they speak. Like maybe instead of "ask" they may say "ax" . Not to mention the fact that there are a lot of people from all over the world who live here and everybody adds a little flavor to the language. It gets pretty funny sometimes, not to mention i am not an exception i get just as bad as everybody else (IMG:/biggrin.gif)

[Shewanna]

Neet. Through is written "through" period.

[Airman04061969]

Shew, have you tried reading "New York Times" lately ? I know I have and "through", at least in this gazette/newspaper is spelled "thru". As to adding the local flavo(u)r, I can not agree more with Bernard Shaw who said that "US and Great Britain are two countries separated thru ( (IMG:/laugh.gif) !) their common langauge".

[tuffgirl]

I for one give up :oops: . This subject is well above my knowledge of the english language. Right now i feel i should go to school and learn something! By the way Bogdane, where did you learn the language? How about you guys?

P.S Do i detect a touch of bitterness towards the "good old USA" Airman? What happened to you here? (IMG:/sad.gif)

[Airman04061969]

I did an MBA in Oxford for two years, that's where I learned my English. Plus I studied it in school for fourteen years, which is about five years more than you need.
There's no bitterness in my soul towards USA but I just can't stand the way the regular Joe mutilates the English language. I, for one, would rather speak French than using improper English.
Oh, and by the way, please find herewith the revocation of the Independence Act:

Declaration of Revocation


To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your
failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern
yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical
duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories.

Except Utah, which she does not fancy.

Your new Prime Minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for
the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a
world outside your borders) will appoint a Minister for America
without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.

A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether
any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown
Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate
effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.

Then look up "aluminium." Check the pronunciation guide. You will
be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and
'neighbour'; skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on
your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without
skipping
half the letters.

You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not
'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise."

You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra'
e.g.Edinburgh. You are welcome to re-spell Pittsburghas 'Pittsberg'
if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.

Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels.
Look up "vocabulary." Using the same thirty seven words
interspersed with filler noises such as "uhh", "like", and "you know"
is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.

Look up "interspersed."

There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're
not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have
chat shows.

When you learn to develop your vocabulary, then you won't have to
use bad language as often.


2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know
on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take
account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."


3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian
accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to
cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier).

You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents
---Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast
with subtitles.

While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no
such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is
"Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States
will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.


4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as
the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to
play English characters.

British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will
not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American
audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political
incorrectness.


5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save
The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not
want you to get confused and give up half way through.


6. You should stop playing American "football." There is only one
kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a
very good game.

The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your
borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American"
football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead
play proper football.

Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a
difficult

game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play
rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve
stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body
armour like nancies).

We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by
2005.

You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an
event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played
outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is
a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead
of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called
"rounders," which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized
gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.


7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no
longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in
public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are
sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will
require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.


8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a
new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called
"Indecisive
Day."

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap, and it is for
your own good. When we show you German cars, you will
understand what we mean.
All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will
start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you
will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of
conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you
understand the British sense of humour.


10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call 'French
fries' are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian
though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while
in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things
you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real
chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional
accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and
flat.

Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.


11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added
to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this
quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.


12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling "beer" is not
actually
beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter
will be referred to as "beer," and European brews of known and
accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." The substances
formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as

"Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," with the exception of the product of the
American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as
"Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as
manufactured for the last 1000 years in the Czech Republic) to be
sold without risk of confusion.


13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or "gasoline,"
as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005)
prices
with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the
former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol
prices (roughly$6/US gallon -- get used to it).


14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns,
lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and
therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent.
Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough
to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist,
then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.


15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.


16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you
shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to
1776).


Thank you for your co-operation.

Hope you enjoyed it and, actually I am very much supportive of the American way (especially when it comes to entreprenaurial spirit) and ... yes ! George Dubbya Bush ! (IMG:/laugh.gif)

[tuffgirl]

WOW i am floored! That was really funny. I don't dare to show it to anybody else around here for fear of retribution. I would also like to clarify a few things.
I have learned english on my own (not in school) when i arrived here (N.Y.).
I totally agree with you on the fact that the regular Joe's lack certain skills in speaking or writing the language.
Most of the regular Joe's are born here!
The educational system is (in my opinion) the worst i have ever seen (most 9th graders read at the level of a 3rd grader)
The president sucks, but that is not my fault, due to the fact i have not voted for him. Sometimes, he has a hard time speaking or reading the language himself. Why criticize the Regular Joe when this is the example he has to follow? :roll: (IMG:/biggrin.gif)

[Airman04061969]

One thing though about American education system: it is highly pragmatic, which makes it very much to my taste. I do not appreciate European education systems where you learn "de omni res scibere" (to know about all things) without having a proper education in any particular field.

[tuffgirl]

I guess that for a more in-depth knowledge of any one subject whomever would like to pursue that particular area of interest, would have to follow up with higher education (universities, colleges etc.) My only complaint about the system is the fact that a lot of this "regular Joe's" graduate high school without the basic skills to function in a everyday environment.

Okay now my head hurts and i am confused :jeez:
Just Kidding (IMG:/biggrin.gif)

[mariusc]

I guess that for a more in-depth knowledge of any one subject whomever would like to pursue that particular area of interest, would have to follow up with higher education (universities, colleges etc.) My only complaint about the system is the fact that a lot of this "regular Joe's" graduate high school without the basic skills to function in a everyday environment.

Okay now my head hurts and i am confused :jeez:
Just Kidding (IMG:/biggrin.gif)

also in romania are a lot of regular Joe`s, who graduate universities and after that their fathers and mothers give some calls and they have a beautiful job....because they deserve it...i guess is the same system, after all.am i wrong ?

[tuffgirl]

Not necessarily, sometimes is the same, but, most of the time, large companies do hire people based on they're skills and experience. It is a little harder but you still have a chance. They like to call themselves "equal opportunity employers" and that is exactly what they mean. Sure it will be easier if you know somebody to help you get a job, that still does not mean that you can keep it or you will get it since you still have to go through an interview. Bottom line is : IF you know what you are doing and can proof it, you should be okay. :wink:

[tuffgirl]

So, how come nobody else is giving it a go to this english post? If you have been intimidated by our previous conversation, please don't, it was only a discussion not meant to critique anybody's skills. You all know, practice make's perfect (not that we are). So please say something :!: I, for one, am not that pretentious when it comes to english. In some situations i am forced to "act" like that because of my job, but, in every day life, i am as plain as they come, in other words i am just a "regular Joane". (IMG:/biggrin.gif)

[Shewanna]

A woman cut off his bf's penis (IMG:/laugh.gif) has anyone heard the news? No?
They said they were arguing over an impending break up so she got all mad and cut it off. She then dropped him off at the hospital, police went to the house - tore up plumbing, found the penis (IMG:/laugh.gif)
Now she has an additional charge of tampering with evidence.
Could ya imgaine what she would cut off if she was a lesbian? :strumf: (which is actually a traditional ceremony in some countries - they cut off the clit because they feel the women should not receive pleasure from sex)
I wonder how did she cut it off, I mean was he passed out or something?? Was it the big kitchen knife?? Mutilation of others without their consent, huh. I just dont see myself understanding that (supposing i could understand that in a fit of anger somebody shoots somebody)
informed consent... coercion or lack of faculties or lack of understanding preclude true consent :roll:

[tuffgirl]

Again? :? The first time it happened i heard that they put "it" back and the guy has a kid. Talk about domestic violence! :shock: